Give me grace and chemicals

I suppose I haven't written in a while..

Je Suis Le Vent.. and I will go where I please

you can have your opinion.. you can have your thoughts.. you can criticize me.. you can praise me.. But - I know who my friends are .. and there are very few. I can count five back home and their names start with E, B, K, J, and A. Good luck with that one. I have one down south too... and new ones here in this place called Colorado.

23. I should count 23 things since it is my age.. for a few more months

1. I like random things including music

2. I like to sleep but I never get any

3. Everyone should step outside of their box once in a while.

4. If you want something enough it can eventually happen

5. I like my car.

6. I like to sit for hours and stare at the sky.. and stars

7. I like not really knowing where I'll be in 6 months from now

8. I know I'll be just fine though-

9. I want to live by a beach someday.. for a little while

10. I have phases where I like to be alone

11. I have phases where I can't be alone

12. I make "to do" lists and lose them

13. I really do think the world would be a better place for me if I could erase certain memories

14. Karma.. it does exist

15. I don't like birds.

16. I sometimes lack the feeling of excitement.. it helps the whole 'getting let down' thing.

17. I laugh a lot ..

18. I look forward to the sun coming up because the scenery here is amazing.. and it looks different almost everyday

19. Snowboarding is one activity that makes me forget about everything

20. I can't wait to start running outside early in the morning. I will miss the trail in Kato- but hopefully there will be a new one just as pretty.

21. Don't wait for anyone

22. I love going to movies

23. I have flashbacks a lot.. the feelings that come with are strange. Like smells... they also give me sharp flashbacks.

Lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night to see someone standing at my bed.. or in my bed. One case was about 2 weeks ago. I woke up and thought it was a certain someone... when I realized no one was there I sat up confused. The time before this.. I saw someone by the door and actually got out of bed to turn on the light.

The last time this happened to me was probably back in 2007? I was living in Stadium Heights and sleeping alone. Woke up in the middle of the night and saw someone standing by my bed.. just staring. I wasn't scared either. Only one time was I freaked outttttt- I was staying in a hotel with my ex bf. I actually woke him up freaking out because I saw someone .. that wasn't really there. Maybe it was the hotel.. maybe stress... not sure.. But just like the recent 'dreams' or whatever they were... they were both within the same month.. 2007 and 2010.i want this dress.