"you're not at the top of my list"

that is exactly why I moved here.

to do what I want

and get away from you.

even though moving away doesn't exactly make me forget.

I finished a 1000 piece puzzle a few days ago.. with the help of my roommates and Alecia.

I also acquired a 1500 piece puzzled that I can hopefully turn into a poster for my wall..

I watched a movie called 'strictly sexual' - not too bad.. not really good..but not a waste of time either..

Finished the 'ugly truth' with a bottle of red blend.

now it's the 'massive attack' station on pandora.

night.

empathy

They aren't going to hear this song.
they won't see your sadness
they won't see what you've become


you wait for the door to open
you wait for their voice
you wait.


it's never the same
and it's not fair.



you question the motive.









but with death comes life.

your mouth is open wide

weeks of nightmares. un-easy nights. a comforting phone call. $300 to fix the lumie. new roomie.

I'm almost done with season 5 of House M.D. what am I gonna do until 6? I have 3 seasons of Weeds that I'm gonna work on.

When going on 3 1/2 hour walks in the mountains make sure to bring water. you might almost die.

3 days off. cleaning. softball. volleyball. running. hiking. cooking. paying rent somehow. snowboarding. birthday. love.

he's so sweet.. she wanna lick the rapper.

ridiculous

M.I.A, Born Free from ROMAIN-GAVRAS on Vimeo.

i won't forget

boredom creates some pretty interesting thoughts. time for a run.

Piñata beat down

just sayin..

Rawrrrr

I wanna go to a LIVE show soon. Somewhere in Denver.. yeah. And lots of baseball games.

In the words of Lady Gaga

You're not gonna reach my telephone.

Today. I woke up and decided that a trip out of Summit County was much needed. No agenda. My plan was to drive around and check things out in Denver. Grabbed Mike and hit the road. Drove up Loveland pass- 1st time for me. It was pretty awesome. I learned that the over-sized semis and tankers have to take Loveland because they are not allowed in the tunnel on 70. If they explode it could make the mountain crumble.. I made that last part up but it might have something to do with it. Drove to the beer store so Mike could brew his own.. well it's closed one day a week... guess what day that is? Yep. Monday. Which is today. Hah sad. Decided that I wanted to see the Garden of the Gods again.. Set out for Colorado Springs which is another 60 miles or so South of Denver. It was crazy to see Mountains on my Right and flatness on my Left. Garden of the Gods is just as pretty as I remembered it. Crazy red rock structures surrounded by trees and desert-like plants. We set off for a hike - it was super hot out but the hike was fun and easy... cept for the rattlesnake that snuck out in front of me. After hiking and looking at the balancing rock back to Denver it was. Took a random road somewhere in Denver and drove by a park.. and through a pretty neighborhood. Parked at a meter.. threw some quarters in and hung out on 16th street. It was nice to be in a city again and just people watch while drinking a Denver-brewed beer. After returning to the home slate.. we ate some noodles and co anddddd went to see 'How to Train your Dragon' in 3D. It was realllly cute...and I want a Dragon now. One that blows fire preferably. weeeeeeelp.. Time to get 5 hours of sleep before work in my lonely apartment. I hope my roomies make it back home safe! I'll miss them.

cutting the pop

that beach may have no sand or palm trees but it's my kinda beach.

SO I decided today that I'm not going to drink any pop (soda) for 2 weeks.. I've clearly been drinking wayyy too much this winter and now that I work at a restaurant.. well it's free. Lemon water please. I've also got 14 days to find a new place to live.. so maybe when I move into my new place I'll celebrate with a huge mountain dew!

On my hike/jog/run by the lake today I took a different route home randomly. I passed a man cutting his grass.. it was brown.. but it smelled amazing.. I can't wait for things to start turning green. So while I'm waiting.. I'll be making money..house hunting.. and hiking more.. anddd waiting for my friends to return to CO and hopefully hang out with the ones that are still here.

MN you're on my mind. I'll be back soonish.

right?

you'll pay eventually

Sleep. Dreams. 2 things that I like. my favorite things to do right now. my next day off i think im gonna stay in allll day and sleep. lately my dreams have been better than life itself. sometimes? i'm waiting for my brain to adjust to the changing of seasons. singing the same songs i sang last year at this time. let's do no repeats. same thing different place. how long will that last? what's the point.

still my favorite song:... on repeat for hours..:

2nd fav song:..:

it's the dream where you want to wake up and hope it was real. so much that it almost hurts. until we meet again...

right now.

choices.. options.. decisions

Here I am.. 2:30 am.. I did nothing tonight except stress about how my life has no direction right now. April is never a good month for me.. maybe it has something to do with the changing seasons. The best thing I did was move out here to Colorado.. I met some pretty amazing people.. some in which are leaving or already left. I also wasted time on some things when I should have spent more on others. big. waste. of. time. I moved out here for me. Not anyone else. I'm tired of unnecessary stress. unnecessary stress is making me tired. I'm trying really hard not to pack up my car and leave... to where.. I don't know?

I spent a good amount of time looking at missing people online. It is such an eerie feeling. What if someone you saw everyday went missing.. I only came about this because of an article in a cosmopolitan magazine. One that I should probably have a subscription to since I spend almost $5 on it every month.

I rode keystone all day today.. closing day. got some good slushy riding in. I may or may not attend the employee ride day tomorrow.. or today however you look at it. this is only if i wake up in time. at this point it's looking like ill sleep the whole day away. anyways..after riding i went to city market.. which is like a cub foods in mn... it was there that i purchased bread.. avocados.. cherry tomatoes.. cheese..lettuce.. ice cream cookie sandwiches.. chips.. spaghettios.. 2 cokes.. some vitamin water.. and 3 magazines.. solid shopping. I also rented a movie call 'an education' which i pre-ordered online.. guess what? i didn't watch it. yet. i also didn't do my laundry that i said i would do. very productive night on the couch. i even got lazy capitalizing my "i"s.

this song is weird.. i liked the tune but not sure about the lyrics

i rock out to this while snowboarding

....and the video makes me wanna dress up like a butterfly? or learn how to play bass.. and not end up on celebrity rehab

makes me feel like im spinning around really fast

still spinning

coming home? it's not something you know about

thoughtful mac n cheese

I need to get out of this place.

in search of

Mike Snow- Remedy -Crookers RemiX

Yay for Baseball season.. Yay for snow in April.. Yay for Sat-Mon offffffffff to do some spring riding!

Dear Last Night..

Hiiiiiiiii -

Dear Last Night.. I think we got off on the wrong foot. It's funny what the sun can do.. but the sun isn't even up... I'm ready to ROCK today. I'm working at my new job in Breck today - I hate the drive...butttt oh well... and it snowed out.. crap.

Hopefully I'll see my friends over there tonight? Tomorrow is my last day at MGS!!!!!! It's saddddd.... wtf happened

boooootyyy shakin

Sway Feat. Akon - Silver & Gold - MyVideo

faded through

How do we get through the things we do?

I have some friends who are extremely strong. The things they have been through- I can hardly imagine what it's like. There is nothing you can do for them except be there.. if that.

I hate these weird feelings.. I had such a fun, silly day. Then I get one feeling of random uncertainty and it all goes away. Look back at where you were a year ago. It doesn't seem that long ago- but it was and it's gone. I could write a book about each one of my friends.. and random stories... but what would I write about myself? Is this where I wanna be?

things build around me and stay together while I tear apart and grow distant. never that one that is worth sticking around.

so many many

5 more days working for Mountain Guest Services. Sad.

2 job offers in 2 days.. What shall I pick?

More jobs I'm thinking of... Summer jobs: Bev Cart.. Dillon/Frisco Marina.. Landscaping company.. Tiki Bar..

orrr I can move to Denver.. and work at a Harley Davidson that's hiring for a position that I previously worked for 5 years. oooorrrrr a few other big girl jobs that I've been looking into.

I like this place tho. I am also planning a trip back to MN soon.. hopefully it works out sooner than later.


oh if you're a bar or a bowling alley.. watch your glasses and shoes. yep.

sleepyhead

I didn't get a chance to see prof in MN... so maybe Denver on Tuesday night

New job in Breck on Wednesday. Working on others. Colorado is where I'll be for now. Gonna buy me a bike for the summer... yessssss

Karmatized

SO. This is what's up.

Today I walk into work with my big 30+ ounce cup... or maybe it's more like a jug.. It's perfect for me since I need lotsss of water the day after a disaster. I had dreams again where I was constantly filling up a water glass and drinking. So I'm sitting in the office waiting for work and Josilynn walks in with the same exact jug.. except hers is accessorized with a pretty straw. Nothing else could be done except to burst out with laughter.. The kind of laughter that makes me feel like collapsing a little. It's weird

So let's recap:

Last night was our department's "Bowling Party" social gathering. Bowling is fun. I bowled a 99 and a 149. I didn't get to finish my 3rd game... that's a story for another time.. but in a nutshell:

Bowling attendant who doesn't respect women called me something 3 times.

I took home a new pair of bowling shoes complements of the Dillon Bowling Alley.

My dearest friend poured beer into her bowling shoes because of what the 'really nice' bowling attendant called me. I love her.

Got kicked out.

Went to another bar... where I left my camera in the booth.... it's gone :(

Karma.. you're not fair.. bowling shoes are NOT as cool as a camera.

SOO Keystone today. Another 4-5 hour night of sleep. 4 people are late. Meghan and I got to jam out in SKI check. "In 5 minutes when that cloud rolls in.. I'm leaving" I hope that wasn't our last time at ski check sitting on the railing watching the jet clouds... having lovely conversations with boys from Wisconsin about 'cheese turds'... Saturday in the park.. a man selling ice cream... and pretending to know the words to "Benny and the Jets".. oooh and BTW.. I am currently listening to "Saturday in the Park" by Chicago now.

SO this area is getting some serious snow right now.. 70 is closed. Keep it coming.

Thursday: Riding.. interview. check it.

**update** my camera was in one of the bowling shoes under my bed :)

Give me grace and chemicals

I suppose I haven't written in a while..

Je Suis Le Vent.. and I will go where I please

you can have your opinion.. you can have your thoughts.. you can criticize me.. you can praise me.. But - I know who my friends are .. and there are very few. I can count five back home and their names start with E, B, K, J, and A. Good luck with that one. I have one down south too... and new ones here in this place called Colorado.

23. I should count 23 things since it is my age.. for a few more months

1. I like random things including music

2. I like to sleep but I never get any

3. Everyone should step outside of their box once in a while.

4. If you want something enough it can eventually happen

5. I like my car.

6. I like to sit for hours and stare at the sky.. and stars

7. I like not really knowing where I'll be in 6 months from now

8. I know I'll be just fine though-

9. I want to live by a beach someday.. for a little while

10. I have phases where I like to be alone

11. I have phases where I can't be alone

12. I make "to do" lists and lose them

13. I really do think the world would be a better place for me if I could erase certain memories

14. Karma.. it does exist

15. I don't like birds.

16. I sometimes lack the feeling of excitement.. it helps the whole 'getting let down' thing.

17. I laugh a lot ..

18. I look forward to the sun coming up because the scenery here is amazing.. and it looks different almost everyday

19. Snowboarding is one activity that makes me forget about everything

20. I can't wait to start running outside early in the morning. I will miss the trail in Kato- but hopefully there will be a new one just as pretty.

21. Don't wait for anyone

22. I love going to movies

23. I have flashbacks a lot.. the feelings that come with are strange. Like smells... they also give me sharp flashbacks.

Lately I have been waking up in the middle of the night to see someone standing at my bed.. or in my bed. One case was about 2 weeks ago. I woke up and thought it was a certain someone... when I realized no one was there I sat up confused. The time before this.. I saw someone by the door and actually got out of bed to turn on the light.

The last time this happened to me was probably back in 2007? I was living in Stadium Heights and sleeping alone. Woke up in the middle of the night and saw someone standing by my bed.. just staring. I wasn't scared either. Only one time was I freaked outttttt- I was staying in a hotel with my ex bf. I actually woke him up freaking out because I saw someone .. that wasn't really there. Maybe it was the hotel.. maybe stress... not sure.. But just like the recent 'dreams' or whatever they were... they were both within the same month.. 2007 and 2010.i want this dress.

>:O

you wish.

Shambles

It's been a while friends- if anyone is out there

sooo let's seeee.... this season is flying by and I've been riding as much as I can. Really workin these legs.

There's too much that has happened but I would like to give highlights on last night

Jacque, Ben, and Justin all moved into a new condo

-Never have I ever (one that I changed last night)

-Cake in the face.. swigs of grey goose followed by slaps to the face

-Hot tub.. snowball fights... slipping on my ass

-The goat.. awesome place to get into a fight with some guy who's pissed I wouldn't give him a lighter....

Pretty sure we all had a good night... $4 pitchers leaving one to puke in a beer pitcher, one to get into a fight, one to wet the bed, two to kick down a door because of lost keys, confessions and quotes during the car ride home, more slipping on the ice, and 2 hours of sleep.

= longest day at work ever.

Going to see Shutter Island tonight

Vail after Wednesday --- super excited!

Happy Birthday lil Sis - Aimee!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lwuFEz_ydo

time moves so slow.. so fast

I've been everywhere mannnn..

I had the "muse station" up on my pandora and Johnny Cash's "I've been everywhere" definitely started playing... weird.. nice. I forgot how much I really like Muse- I bought all of their albums a few years ago and I never buy CD's.. I wonder where they are.

I woke myself up @ 7:45 today.. forgetting why I set my alarm.. I looked outside and remembered.. snowww... the most I've seen in Dillon since I moved out here. Drove to keystone.. followed like 20 cars and contemplated turning around cuz I hate boarding when I have to share the mountain with 2398479 other people. Parking lot was getting full at 8:15 already.. Vail pass was closed... meaning everyone who wanted to go to Vail or Beaver Creek was now going to Breck or Keystone... greatttttttttt. I got a solid run of freshies on the front side for my first run.. but after that.. too many people and lumpies on the north peak.

I think I'm getting better at boarding.. wish I had enough balls to try stuff in the park.. but I like my arms not broken. I just like to go fastttttt. that's all. I wanna learn how to ski too. Ski boys > Snowboarder boys. FO SHO.. with the exception of a few boy snowboarders.

Today on the Peru lift, Tyler and I had the privilege of riding up with 2 little boy skiers. One mentioned that his birthday was coming up so Tyler asked what he was gonna do for his B-day. The little boy saysssss that he's gonna go to the liquor store.. and was dead serious about it. I think my abs still hurt from laughing..

Earlier in the day I rode with Justin in which I had another funny lift experience. One random old dude was singing some song.. I think he was singing along to his I-pod. Interesting. On top of the lift being crammed I had to sit next to a boarder who was riding goofy... so he sits on the right side of me... I don't know why.

Yesterday = ski check. forgot phone. volunteers. crabby. cupcakes. happy. more volunteers. stressed again. tea. interesting. pissed off man. can't handle w/ tea. tired. $38 tips. night riding. perfect. cut off by some F*. crash. mad. arms hurt. more night riding. drive home. 3ft visibility. driving with snow boots. Olympic driving in snow w/boots? noodles with cheese and spice. music. sleep.

Today: boarding. freshies. micky d's. new mittens. new candles. room smells amazing.

Future: nap. city market. drink. dance. sleep.

Tomorrow: Vail. cook dinner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHo5S93cEi0

Arsty Fartsy

my boyfriend. :)
Just in case you forgot-

I graduated from college

I check peoples skis

tell them where the gondola is

drink more than i did in college

sleep less

board a lot

spend more than i make but not by choice

it's worth it for now

I like randomness more than ever

I have been listening to a lot of dance music lately too- Tiesto.. Voodoo and Serano.. blahh crazy

flashbacks and fast-forwards

This is awesome- David Backes - played hockey at Minnesota State University (where I graduated from) - and now plays for the St.Louis Blues- AND is a part of the 2010 Olympic Hockey team. Nice. I didn't know this until this morning since I've been on the go go go the past few days. bad.

What did you do for Fat Tuesday? I worked some mountain guest services, reunited a lost boy - who was not happy with life- with his mother. Did some intense investigation for some skis without owners and listened to savage garden all day.

The lead singer is strangely good looking and I can't stop watching <--^ watch it now=

Definitely bringing back memories of life minus 10 years. Where did that go?

I love working with people from all over the country because they always have different youtube videos to show me- it comes with the price of my Midwest accent getting mocked though.

Yesterday was also Meghan's Birthday! - Happy Birthday Love!

Last night involved fun times with friends- the Goat, applying tattoos with beer (bad idea), Angela's secret stash of rum, free stuff, $4 pitcher's of PBR, weird boys grabbing me, new dishes for Austin and J.B., girl talk with Loni and Annie in the bathroom, foozeball, trash talking on Halo, and a new place to sleep for this girl.

I think more happened this morning in 20 mins than everything last night- including me almost getting smoked by a semi getting out of a truck- I'm going to re-evaluate my life right now-

I found blood and I saw stars
All in the backseat of your car
And I told you it was love
But you don't wanna know the truth
I was young and in my prime
With my heart still filled with fear
And it goes on bleedin'

New fav song up in that linkski

Time to clean/ snowboard/ cook dinnneerrrr.

Bittersweet

Aloha- let's start the day off still a bit buzzed- that's what I have done the past 2 days. Work @ 7:30-5, drink, stay up late, repeat. Sunday I had the privilege to work in the main office- basically just answer the phone, check for lost and found items, tell lost people where to go... usually less direct interaction than the other 2 stations. Soooo I pretty much sat in a chair while my brain ate itself... I couldn't speak in complete sentences and really needed a nap... turned on pandora which played a bunch of 311, incubus, pepper, bob marley.. SO what do I do... start looking at surf boards online. I had no idea there were so many different boards to choose from and got a bit flustered. Who would know surf boards better than someone in Hawaii? I called a surf shop in Waikiki called Go Nuts or something and chatted with this boy (I don't remember his name) about surfing and Hawaii for like 20 mins.. pretty sure I have a new friend in Hawaii. He was pretty helpful.. at least I think- told me to get the biggest board I can get my hands on for learning and thennnn buy a board when I decide what kind of surfing I wanna do. My co-worker Mike was anxious to know what they call "gapers" in Hawaii.. anddd *drum rollllll* they call them Haules - We both got a good chuckle out of talking about gapers/haules. Next move- the pacific? hmm..

Lately- I want you to call but when you do I don't wanna talk

The show planet earth is CraZy- it goes from plants.. to ants... to monkeys.. to fish and monsters in the sea-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSJI0o7T4sk

Freshies..

Vail Freshies

Vail Pass on the rocks

flash back.. twist it up.. im so close to giving up

not really.. that's a song.. I think it's called "Don't Cry" by Olivia Broadfield. Lately.. when I'm driving.. I think of all these things I wanna write about, get to my computer and forget :) Speaking of driving... I went a little further west to Vail/Avon to visit my friend Ben and his roomies Dicky/ie/ee? Adam, and Yeti.. I love Yeti- makes me miss my puppy Lola.. I never realized how close Dillon is to Vail.. just a hop skip and float over some mountains. I think it was around 1600 with nooo clouds in the sky. pretty pretty. I think that Copper mountain has the best view when they ski, but I have never rode there. The mountains seem so insane driving between Frisco and Copper. The drive home today on the other hand was a little different. I think that people should be required to drive a winter in Minnesota before they drive in snowy mountains. It definitely helps that snow is what I'm used to driving in... I don't get nervous driving in snow.. unless it's dark. ICE on the other hand= death. Not a fan of ice.. I don't even like ice skating cuz I can see to the bottom and it's weird. I might want to try ice fishing tho.. only because it involves cold beverages :)

So anyways I had a good time in Vail- rode Beaver Creek on Thursday- which was alright.. some icy spots. Rode Vail today.. which had the best snow I've seen this year so far. Rode freshies all morning and was very happy with it! It made me forget about wanting to trip over skiers that were cutting me off :(

Welp- I think I'm off to Brizekenridge tonight to dizanceee. It's back to Keystone tomorrow bright and early for work- Hopefully something interesting will happen-

86 the onions

alright- well- you learn something new everyday.. like today I learned what 86in something is... apparently I should have known what this meant since I was a bartender/server for over a year... but I didn't know.. but now I know. I also wish I knew what I'm gonna do come April 11th.... which is the last day of employment at Keystone- I've got a few ideas... Stay in CO, move back home... Cali, Hawaii, somewhere east... down south? I feel like now that I've made it to CO I can go anywhere. Gotta pay those school loans somehow tho.... It makes me a little sad tho - I have met lots of fun, awesome people out here in the past month just to find out they will be leaving in 2 months.. Resort town results I guess. I would love to keep moving around.. but I also want to find a job in which I can actually use the things I have learned in school... life...

Tomorrow... Thursday.. and Friday I don't have to work- which I am very much looking forward to- we're trying a new schedule: 4 10's.. which only means I have 3 days to spend money instead of 2... BUT tomorrow I'll be riding the home slate- Keystone- then heading to Vail/ Avon in the afternoon to hang out with an MN friend... who is promising a good time.. maybe riding Beaver Creek Thursday?

Don't worry..I have lottttttts of things to "blog" about in the near future.. like Colorado.. Keystone... Minnesota... awesome people I've met out here..

Hopefully I get a copy of the summit daily the next couple of days to fulfill my newfound addiction to Sudoku..

:)

my favorite song right nowwww......

first attempt

hmm...

not really sure where to start.. I felt like randomly starting a blog.. mostly cuz of Meghan- my Canadian Midwest friend. Maybe I can get some thoughts out since I feel like I'm losing intelligence at work-

we'll keep this one short - it's late here in CO